Generated by scripts/build_film_audio.py from the presets that are
live on Waze. Do not hand-edit. If a line here does not work for the
film, change the preset and rebuild the pack, so the film and the
product never disagree.
Four beats, the same slots for every character. The film is cut from beat 2; see launch-film.md.
| Beat | Slots | Waze files |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | in_quarter_mile + turn_right |
400.mp3 then TurnRight.mp3 |
| 2 | reroute_chime |
TickerPoints.mp3 |
| 3 | police_ahead |
Police.mp3 |
| 4 | arrived |
Arrive.mp3 |
Beat 1 is two files because that is how Waze says it: the distance clip, then the maneuver clip, back to back. The cut audio here is joined the same way, so what you drop on the timeline is what a driver hears.
Imperial throughout. 400.mp3 is "a quarter of a mile" - the imperial
filenames do not match their numbers, which is documented in
waze-import-spike.md.
Cold open: Default
Generated for the film, not a pack. Flat, stock-GPS delivery. The cold open.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter mile, turn right." | film-audio/default/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
2.0s |
| 2-reroute | "Recalculating." | film-audio/default/2-reroute.mp3 |
1.4s |
| 3-police | "Police reported ahead." | film-audio/default/3-police.mp3 |
1.7s |
| 4-arrive | "You have arrived." | film-audio/default/4-arrive.mp3 |
1.3s |
Cold open alternate
Second option if the first reads too warm.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter mile, turn right." | film-audio/default-alt/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
1.9s |
| 2-reroute | "Recalculating." | film-audio/default-alt/2-reroute.mp3 |
1.2s |
| 3-police | "Police reported ahead." | film-audio/default-alt/3-police.mp3 |
1.5s |
| 4-arrive | "You have arrived." | film-audio/default-alt/4-arrive.mp3 |
1.2s |
1. Paddington
Unfailingly polite, earnest, and quietly certain you will do the right thing.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/paddington/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.3s |
| 2-reroute | "Oh dear. Things are always happening to me. Recalculating." | film-audio/paddington/2-reroute.mp3 |
5.8s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. I shall give them a hard stare." | film-audio/paddington/3-police.mp3 |
4.3s |
| 4-arrive | "We've arrived. Please look after this bear. Thank you." | film-audio/paddington/4-arrive.mp3 |
4.8s |
2. Hagrid
Huge, warm, a bit disorganised, and delighted to be driving you anywhere.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/hagrid/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
2.7s |
| 2-reroute | "Missed it! Blimey. That's my fault, that is. Recalculating." | film-audio/hagrid/2-reroute.mp3 |
6.2s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. I shouldn't have said that. Slow down." | film-audio/hagrid/3-police.mp3 |
5.0s |
| 4-arrive | "We're here! Brilliant. I'll put the kettle on." | film-audio/hagrid/4-arrive.mp3 |
4.3s |
3. Elmo
Bright, giggly and delighted to be helping, in the third person throughout.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile! Turn right." | film-audio/elmo/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.2s |
| 2-reroute | "Uh oh! Elmo will find a new way! Ha ha!" | film-audio/elmo/2-reroute.mp3 |
4.4s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. Elmo says be good!" | film-audio/elmo/3-police.mp3 |
3.6s |
| 4-arrive | "We arrived! Elmo loves you!" | film-audio/elmo/4-arrive.mp3 |
3.0s |
4. Pooh
Warm, unhurried and audibly thinking it through, but never vague about the turn.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/pooh/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.1s |
| 2-reroute | "Oh, bother. I'll find another way." | film-audio/pooh/2-reroute.mp3 |
3.0s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. Best behaviour. Bother." | film-audio/pooh/3-police.mp3 |
3.8s |
| 4-arrive | "We've arrived. Time for a little something, I think." | film-audio/pooh/4-arrive.mp3 |
3.8s |
5. Cookie Monster
Blunt, delighted, entirely present tense, and thinking about snacks.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile! Turn right." | film-audio/cookie-monster/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.2s |
| 2-reroute | "Oops. Me find new way. Om nom nom." | film-audio/cookie-monster/2-reroute.mp3 |
4.2s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead! Me behave! Me hide cookies!" | film-audio/cookie-monster/3-police.mp3 |
4.3s |
| 4-arrive | "We arrived! Now me get cookie! Om nom nom!" | film-audio/cookie-monster/4-arrive.mp3 |
4.2s |
6. Bugs Bunny
Unbothered, wisecracking, and slightly amused that you needed directions.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/bugs-bunny/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.1s |
| 2-reroute | "I knew I shoulda taken that turn at Albuquerque! Recalculating." | film-audio/bugs-bunny/2-reroute.mp3 |
5.0s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. Act casual, doc." | film-audio/bugs-bunny/3-police.mp3 |
3.5s |
| 4-arrive | "We've arrived. That's all, folks!" | film-audio/bugs-bunny/4-arrive.mp3 |
3.4s |
7. Daffy Duck
Loud, theatrical, personally offended by traffic, and certain he is right.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile! Turn right." | film-audio/daffy-duck/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.0s |
| 2-reroute | "Rerouting! It's fine. Everything is fine. You're despicable!" | film-audio/daffy-duck/2-reroute.mp3 |
5.0s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead! Act natural. Act natural!" | film-audio/daffy-duck/3-police.mp3 |
3.4s |
| 4-arrive | "We've arrived! You're welcome, obviously. Woo hoo!" | film-audio/daffy-duck/4-arrive.mp3 |
4.0s |
8. Gordon Ramsay
Furious, exacting, and treating your driving like a failed service.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/gordon-ramsay/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
2.5s |
| 2-reroute | "You missed it, you donkey! Recalculating." | film-audio/gordon-ramsay/2-reroute.mp3 |
3.8s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. Idiot sandwich? Not today. Slow down." | film-audio/gordon-ramsay/3-police.mp3 |
4.8s |
| 4-arrive | "We're here. Finally! Beautiful. Well done." | film-audio/gordon-ramsay/4-arrive.mp3 |
4.3s |
9. Eric Cartman
Bossy, whiny, entitled, and convinced he is in charge of the car.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/eric-cartman/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
1.5s |
| 2-reroute | "You missed it! Oh my God, you guys. Recalculating." | film-audio/eric-cartman/2-reroute.mp3 |
2.8s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead! Respect their authoritah!" | film-audio/eric-cartman/3-police.mp3 |
1.9s |
| 4-arrive | "We're here! Screw you guys, I'm going home." | film-audio/eric-cartman/4-arrive.mp3 |
2.1s |
10. Batman
Gravel-voiced, clipped, and treating every commute as a mission.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/batman/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
2.2s |
| 2-reroute | "Wrong turn. Why do we fall? Recalculating." | film-audio/batman/2-reroute.mp3 |
3.6s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. GCPD. Drop your speed. Now!" | film-audio/batman/3-police.mp3 |
4.8s |
| 4-arrive | "We're here. This is your destination." | film-audio/batman/4-arrive.mp3 |
2.6s |
11. Darth Vader
Imperious, disappointed, and entirely certain the driver will fail him.
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile. Turn right." | film-audio/darth-vader/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
3.1s |
| 2-reroute | "You have failed me for the last time with that turn. Recalculating." | film-audio/darth-vader/2-reroute.mp3 |
6.0s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead. I sense a disturbance in the speed limit. Slow down." | film-audio/darth-vader/3-police.mp3 |
6.0s |
| 4-arrive | "You have arrived. Your journey is complete. The Force is with you." | film-audio/darth-vader/4-arrive.mp3 |
5.9s |
Not in the supercut
In the end card and the follow-up posts.
Tigger
| Beat | What it says | Clip | Length |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1-quarter-mile-turn-right | "In a quarter of a mile! Turn right." | film-audio/tigger/1-quarter-mile-turn-right.mp3 |
2.8s |
| 2-reroute | "Never mind! Tiggers always find another way!" | film-audio/tigger/2-reroute.mp3 |
3.5s |
| 3-police | "Police ahead! Best behaviour! Tiggers can be good!" | film-audio/tigger/3-police.mp3 |
4.7s |
| 4-arrive | "We've arrived! That was tremendous! Worra worra!" | film-audio/tigger/4-arrive.mp3 |
3.9s |
Notes for the edit
Beat 2 is the odd one. reroute_chime maps to TickerPoints.mp3,
which is nominally a chime slot - three of eleven real packs ship it
silent. Ours speak there. If a loop wants silence on the reroute, that
is a legitimate reading of the slot, not a missing file.
Two lines from the first draft do not exist. There is no "in 500 feet" and no "continue for 0.3 miles" anywhere in Waze's vocabulary. The imperial distances are exactly four: a tenth of a mile, a quarter, a half, and one mile. Anything else in the film is a line the product cannot deliver.
The Default track is ours. Not Waze's own voice and not Google's - a model cloning Google Maps' navigation voice exists on Fish and is deliberately not used here. The film is unaffiliated promo, so the "before" state has to be something we generated.